Is it worth waiting?

Is it worth waiting?
I have always wanted to be with him, my feelings haven't changed and a decade has passed since I know him and have spoken to.

Strange how he used to say, people change with time and eventually disconnect and not everyone keeps in touch.
Then a new suck-fest began.

From MSN messenger to SMS to Facebook chat....
And yet we hardly spoke.
And yet we've hardly known.

Little that he knows that I have always liked him,

and wonder if he ever did?

What is he up to and does he have anyone in his life, is a mystery.

And I have no right or reason to ask,

and stalking an old love who's not active socially is a task.

Life is silly and love is madness...

And yet, hope never dies.
so is it worth waiting...?

Friend.

About the world YOU "know".

They started off with smiles

and on days you couldn't be alone

and so to pass some time...
Gossip, fun and attachment.

Exploring and wandering, dreaming and drinking, visiting and eating.

Movies, dancing and wine tasting, gigs and hukkah, hot boxes and long drives.

Summer, Rains and Winter,

or pathetic Spring and Autumn...

Shop and go wild...sale, sale, sale!

Things made you closer, feeling less of a loser.

However, time flies, my friend.
I will be there for you, they said.
I understand, so you were told.

How does it feel to go through the lies and sudden events all alone?

You.
You.
You.

You are your own friend.

Your own family.

Talk to yourself

Make yourself the one you will need forever.

Inspire, yourself.
This is Life.
Such is life.
Your life.

Something's Missing.

It's been rather long.

Long, having time and yet not having the energy to accept my mind.

My times have been tiring.
And eventually all the exciting- fun, over hyped events and occassions, killed my feelings.

I am absolutely fake when it comes to be excited.

I am content enough and yet not content. I am happy, yet not that happy to show how happy I am.

But people who are too happy, all the time, overwhelm me, so much so that I start to feel low...

Low enough to make me angry...

Angry because I don't know why am I feeling so low?

Am I depressed?

Because clearly the alcohol isn't working on me either.

No. I am not sad. I know when to be happy.

Just not too happy.

My life is just.... going on…

There is nothing new, and a lot is missing.

I am just waiting for someone to slap me out of my monotony and the cold brick that I have become.

Someone to add a spark.

Add Love, may be?

Love.
Trippy.

Grow Up

Grow Up.

What does it mean?
Does it mean you have to grow up to be mature

Or simply grow up physically?

How does it matter?

It matters, with time.

One grows up when they start to accept changes.

When they get used to things and patterns of life.

For me, I have grown up in many ways.

Acceptance being the core.
I have no space for negativity.

My heart isn't cold, but yes, I am detached, and that is just me protecting myself.

I regret nothing.
And above all,
I have begun to hate less and have started being happy for myself and others.

I have always liked and loved a guy, in hopes and dreams, sharing everything and nothing, but still not telling what I feel for him.

I haven't grown out of him, I haven't gotten over, but I have accepted everything.

I knew I could never be with him or have him for life.

And now I have grown up.

I am happy seeing him Happy with someone else, for I know if I were in her place, he would never smile this way with me the way he does with her.

Love is never too less, or too much, or not enough.

Love is love.

You just have to grow with it.

Love.
Trippy.

The Cherry Red Dress

I Wish...

To doll up in my Cherry Red Dress,
That makes me feel like a princess

Even if my head's a mess.

To be taken out and taken care of...
Where the time is filled with laughter and love,

And the present being cherished.

To be danced with
and smile all the way
To be swayed with feelings that won't fade away.

I Wish...
To be comforted in a way

That would make me feel at home

And yet on top of the world...

To share elements of life...

Where no doubts are exchanged but kisses instead.

I don't wish to reach the moon and hop on stars...
I wish to lay down on an empty street, park or on top of the car and star gaze...

I am sure it's a lot to ask for, since it's coming from someone who hasn't been made feel like that ever before.

Well the good news is that
my Cherry Red Dress is ready
I have my purse and accessories lined up...
but I am still waiting for someone

who could make my wish come true...in a day for a day.

Love.
Trippy

Be Yourself

It wasn't long time ago that a "once upon a time" loved one to ME, told me that I killed their feelings…and I am never there for them, and I am selfish and how I don't care enough.

Far from my reality, not knowing that there are days I am quiet because I don't want to hurt anyone, because I CARE.
Nights are scary because loneliness seeps in with the past, making me think wonder if my future is as dark as my nights.
And then there are days, I have to cry it out and to put myself to sleep, I don't call anyone and tell them how I am feeling, yes, I am SELFISH.

However I try to be there for people, my loved ones and my friends leaving my priorities aside, only because I just want to be there for them because I know how it feels when no one is there for you when you need them the most.

And like untold, un-warned December rains, some memories and some beliefs with connected dreams washed off...

None the less,
I continue to do what I do and what I like...
The least, I have learnt, is to love yourself, no matter what.
People will come, people will go.
They will talk, they will bark.

Be the way you are.
Be yourself.

Dear Mr. yet Another,

Dear Mr. yet Another,

My spontaneity gets me into trouble sometimes, troubles like you.
But when I met you all my hurt was forgotten and I felt new again. I found my old self again.
Then you gave me a ring and asked me to wait, I nodded and said please don't be late.
You hugged me tight and kissed me right and it was the perfect night.
when you left a part of me left with you and emptiness started to come around dancing again, and as usual I felt choked again.
Now you're forcing me to change for you but call it "us", the girl you were in "love" with wasn't as if enough.
And you want me to give my everything to you and probably leave you for my most loved ones who gave me birth, an identity and all the things in the world.
I know you for a month now, but I lost your ring already...
call it a sign or call it a sin, adding more than waiting for you for four long years to your list is not fun.
But you don't get it, you're forcing me, because you don't want to lose me, but you've already lost me.

Now I stand alone and smile for the sake of it, you want me to wait, I can't, and you're going to blame my hate for it.

In pain again,
Trippy.

I Lied

I lied.
I said I was fine, I lied.
I said everything will be okay, I lied.

I wanted to be loved, I lied.
I wanted to love, I lied.

I asked for peace, I did not get it.
Everyone was happy, I was happy too, I lied.

They said I will get whatever I want, I said I have it all, I lied.

They said, I will be loved, I said I know, I lied.

Now I am tired.
I wished to never see the sun rise, I lied.

The Goa Life

Legendary stares
Karaoke Nights
Strangers Cheer
Heart feels light.

of Alcohol with coke,
a Joker's delight;
Vodka, Tequila, Rum and Scotch,
New friends blending, with bonds that last.

A night to remember,
sparks lit,
Dancing together, hand in hand,
cheek to cheek,
Racing heart beats, a connection on peak!

Sugar, spice and everything was nice,
The night was ours,
Love was it.
Mojo to Cavala, Goa Goa,
flashing lights, cheesy bites,
urge to kiss, but holding tight.
None of the drinks worked,
the high was of another notion, of the one of a kind when you meet the one.
Alcohol high was a waste, the vibes did the talking,
driving to the shore and back,
the night wasn't ending.
As morning slipped in, but the magical presence was just to stay.

Ready to go?
Na ah!
Don't leave.
I don't want to go.
Would you wait for two years?
If it isn't bullshit, I just might...

Kisses and hugs started off right.

Till distance does us part...
Waiting for another night,
where strangers are no longer strangers,
Karaoke, Dancing, Drinking and Smoking Milds
Hearts will meet in Goa's Life.

Get Magic

For you can’t pause Time,

For You cannot control fall.

What has been lost should be buried…

And if Love is what you wait for,

Wait with Open Arms,

Wait with Eyes Closed,

Expect Nothing.

Imagine Nothing.

What you will get, is Magic!

Disturbed

Memories living in every part of my body that now lies like a corpse;

Breathless and choking the soul cries for Love.

It wants to be cared, wants to care.

Stamped over, knocked down, still doesn’t lose hope; helps everyone as it still longs for Love.

A heart stabbed way too much, now immune to hurt, yet waits for someone to come by and cure with Love.

But the world wants more and don’t know what…

The corpse lies, the soul cries and the heart, slowly dying.

What remains is DISTURBANCE.